I truly thought that when summer was here, I would be getting much more painting done than I have. I have not been doing my painting hour in the morning because I have been using more of that time to train for a half-marathon that I wanted to attempt the end of August. I also thought that once I got my garden planted and growing, it would take less time. I think I will have to be less ambitious next year and stick to lettuce and radishes!
Frankly, this week has been a real battle with depression over my whole "Artist Life Experiment". I haven't felt like writing because I think my progress has slowed so substantially and that I don't have anything to share other than my own discouragement, and that is not what I wanted this blog to be about.
I did manage to get some of the background color on the portrait of Muffy, and that did cheer me up. I think it is a good start. I can see that perhaps I need to re-evaluate my goals and decide whether to be content with doing many goals and getting a little done on each, or going back to being more focused on just one goal, then stop giving myself a guilt trip! Does anyone else always think they can do more than they really can? How do you deal with it?! Life is short, and I want to accomplish so much.
Jeff's Corner: What? Life is short?! Oh crap!...
2 comments:
I ALWAYS think I can do more than I really can. I'm not really sure what the solution is....I still like to think that I might be Super Woman.
I am discovering that the very process of "goal orientation" takes me out of my creative flow and that to have too many "accomplishments" for a day moves me away from my art (whatever form that may take). Life has been generous with me of late to remove all obstacles via accomplishments to offer me seemingly unlimited time to get in the rhythm of my own flow. That may seem like a luxury but feels important to me. I watch my grandbabies move from one joy to another without regard to the activity as much as the obvious pleasure they bring to what they are involved in. This way we have of getting to our passions AFTER other things....I am getting the idea that time will never arrive. I have been flipping that around to going to what I love first, then other things come later. I read a book years ago called "the Tyranny of the Urgent vs. the Important". As I shared with you the other night, there is an urgency arising in me that is beginning to refuse "NO" for an answer any longer. I'm excitedly awaiting the birth of this new place in me. It feels like it has been a long time coming, a birthing process that is arising out of moving from goal orientation to joyful and pleasure-filled living.
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