Do You Expect that Home Run...Everytime!

"Partridge in a Fir Tree" 3.5"x2.5" watercolor ©2014

In considering what has been one of the most frustrating "creativity killers" for me, I am reminded of a little mind game I often play.   Jeff calls this game "expecting the home run".  Meaning, I expect to perform perfectly and "hit that home run" the first time I try anything. Period.  Ok, maybe I'll give myself the second or third time, but dang it, if it isn't great by then, I get frustrated and feel like a complete failure.   Just as well admit I struck out and go enjoy some cracker-jack to soothe the nerves.   (Yes, popcorn is one of my favorite comfort snacks.)

It is so difficult emotionally to have my first efforts fall below what I can imagine in my mind.  The critic voices just line up inside my head, ready to pronounce their judgements, let alone all the internet trolls I can imagine.  It is enough to crush anyone starting or sharing anything.

Since images are a great way to tell stories and concepts in a compressed form, I designed the "Partridge in a Fir Tree" to remind myself what happens when I expect to grab that partridge way up there with one leap.  I can see that tree is going down in one tangled mess of cat and broken ornaments.  Oh yes,  I can also imagine the internal scolding for that mess!

I'm not saying that I should stop reaching for high goals, that is part of the fun of life, but I could let myself enjoy ringing the bell and tasting the cookie, which is absolutely within my reach, before I quietly work my way up the tree to get that beautiful bird.

Have you ever "jumped too high" trying to create or do something for the first time?   How do you deal with the feeling of failure or discouragement?  Was there easier "low-hanging" fruit, steps you might have tried first and enjoyed towards attaining your goal?  Perhaps you prefer the big crash, and the messiness doesn't bother you?  I hope to attain that type of non-attachment to results someday, but I'm not there yet. 

If this was helpful and you can you relate to it, let me know or share it with someone you know who is also addicted to "hitting the home run...every time!".   Thanks so much for coming along on the journey.

(By the way, this is the painting in step two after the sketch, in a tiny 3.5"x2.5" ATC, artist's trading card form.  I can see now where I need to adjust the colors for the final 5"x 7" larger painting.)