Why Do I Resist Marketing My Art?

                                                  The Safety Zone ©2015 Tina M.Welter

This question has been rolling around like a pair of dice in my mind for some time now. Recently I tossed those dice out onto the table by flipping that question on it's head and asking myself... 

What is the benefit of not marketing?

Yahtzee! The answers came tumbling out and lined up to make one word, protection.

I'm protecting myself. 

My top 3 monsters.

Dealing with people I don't know. I get why some cats hide under the bed when a stranger comes over, you don't have any idea what odd thing they will say or weird expectation they might have of you. Unfortunately sitting up on the highest cupboard and observing them for shady behavior is not considered good form as an actual human person.

All the anxiety I experience when packing art to ship. Is this enough bubble wrap? Did I get a strong enough box? What will I do if this package gets lost or stolen by porch pirates! Packing tape that fights back like a snakey demon that would rather stick anywhere and to anything but the dang box. Plus, all the storing of said packing materials. No more closet space, how about the back of the car? Yes, that is where some of it is stored right now.

Worst of all, silence.  All the work and effort of creating the art, plus doing all the social media and getting it where people can see it and nothing. I fear that nothing will happen, no sales, not even a mean comment to let me know someone at least had a reaction. It's heartbreaking to work so hard for so little return. Actually, I dread mean comments, avoiding real human trolls is another reason for me to want to stay hidden, yikes!

So, why am I admitting to all this? Many years ago I had serious anxiety over creating paintings, that was the issue I was exploring and sharing in the 'Fraidy Cat newsletter. I've realized lately that I no longer have that anxiety! All the step by step frame works I created for myself and kept practicing all these years actually worked! Ta-freaking-Da, today I am officially documenting one huge Artist Life Experiment Success! 

Which leads me to the next big question, can I find solutions for these "marketing my art" fears too?

'Fraidy Cat is seriously thinking about coming down from the top cupboard and going on the prowl.

I'll keep you posted, I definitely want and sincerely appreciate your support.

Happy creating! (and marketing?!?)

>^-^<

Tina

 

Into the Deep Purple

Amethyst Heart

 Even though it is my favorite color, I don't have a lot of tubes of purple paint in my paint box simply because it is a "secondary color" and it is often easy to mix a wide range of lovely shades from red and blue.

I do have a couple pre-mixed purple paints that I consider absolutely essential though, Dioxizine purple and Acra Violet. Dioxizine purple is a wonderfully deep, sheer purple, it mixes well with other colors and adds shadowy depth. I especially like it for painting dark purple irises. Acra Violet, is an incredibly versatile red purple that can add so much vibrancy to a range of flowers from red, pink and purple.

Arranging my purple paints from cool to warm.

Since I am exploring what the paints in my paintbox can do, I wanted to test out mixing my red and blues to see what kind of variety of purples were possible. I had to start with classifying my reds from cool to warmest so I would know where to start. I already tested out all the blues, see the "Shades of Blue" blog post from January. Again, I learned you can't judge a color by it's paint tube, some reds I thought were more cool were actually more warm, and visa-versa. After I painted a swatch of color onto paper, it was much easier to classify once I could see the colors next to each other.

Re-arranging my red paints from cool to warm.

 

My blue paints arranged cool to warm.

After I sorted my red colors, I mixed my coolest red and coolest blue, then warmest red and warmest blue to see what kind of range of purples I had. The biggest surprise for me was my two warmest colors yielded a dark gray that wasn't very purple at all! Good to know.

Comparing the extremes, coolest and warmest.

 Some of the my favorite purples were mixed from the middle range of warm red+blue or cool red+blue, not the extremes at either end.

Nice purple mixes, somewhere in the middle.

Next was the painting challenge, what subject could possibly suit this wide range of purples? Eventually I decided on an amethyst stone, which seemed very appropriate since it is often considered a traditional birthstone for February.

Amethyst Heart, first layers of paint.

 Although I was really happy that I was able to use almost all the shades of purple I mixed, including that surprising gray, I really felt like the painting could use more work. Adjusting the values would make it more unified and improve the illusion of a sparkling cut stone. I wrote this blog at the end of February and hoped to post it for that month, but I had to make a decision. Do I post the painting as is and on time, or do I improve the painting to how I envisioned it and post in March? What do you think? First heart above, finished heart below.

Amethyst Heart, finished!

I heard an interesting point of view recently from a person I admire, YouTube's Sci-Show host and creator, Hank Green. He said he is able to accomplish so many creative projects because he focuses on getting them to 80 percent perfect and then doesn't worry about that last 20 if it isn't necessary. He is right, that last 20 percent can take a surprising amount of time and may not even improve things that much!

At first I thought I could move forward and post a painting that I felt was at 80 percent, but eventually I chose not to. Even though I think the initial painting did illustrate what I was trying to accomplish, I honestly really wanted that last 20 percent!

Now I'm glad I waited because the finished painting makes me very happy when I look at it. I hope you will enjoy this sparkly purple heart in March as much as I do.

Happy creating!

>^-^<

Tina

 

Full page view of my color tests, 8.5 x 5.5 inch notebook.

 

Drawing From Memories

I’ve thought a lot about what I want to focus the Artist Life Experiment blog for 2020. I think we are due for some fear facing and experiment doing.

It’s time to confess my creative insecurity of not being that great at free-hand drawing. Frankly, it’s embarrassing. I’m great if I have my photo references and my drawing grid all plotted out. There is nothing wrong with using those tools. They make me feel secure and more confident that I will be successful in creating something beautiful. In the past, these tools have often been key for me to have the courage to even start a painting. The downside is that I think my drawings can be a bit stiff at times and I also wonder if my favorite tools have hampered me from developing a unique drawing style of my own.

I know the remedy for stiff drawings is sketching practice. Honestly, sketching practice has never been my favorite thing. It reminds me of practicing the scales for the piano, necessary work but not exactly inspiring.

If I’m going to do the work of sketching, I will be more likely to practice if I have an end goal in mind rather than just drawing “random things around the house.” I never liked that exercise suggestion! I’m thinking about making drawings for a book.

That book would be focused on the fifteen years we lived in the mountains of New Mexico and built our off-grid home from the ground up. Of course we have photos of many of the things we did, but I’m curious to see if I could do some drawings too.

It’s a huge goal and way too much to do in just one year, but “shoot for the stars and hit the moon” or some such inspirational meme. Seriously though, I won't know if this is a good idea or not unless I try it out.
 
To prove that I am not kidding about my free-hand drawing skills, I’m posting my first attempts at sketching with pen. Yes, pen, ballpoint pen and a little marker to be exact. I know, no forgiving pencil and eraser to cover past sins! 


I follow the blog of a pen and ink artist, Chris Wilson, who likes to share his knowledge. Chris claims sketching with pen is the best way to learn to loosen up. He suggests to start by holding the pen farther back and let the lines be less controlled. Also, imagine following the outside contour of the subject to get the overall gesture. This advice sort of works for me, but I already found out I do better if I look for shapes and aim to connect the shapes together, if that makes any sense.

Okay, here is my first try. Yikes! This looks weird even to me.

Cleaning Crew

and another…wow, a toy truck and giant deer! 

That elk in the back looks kinda good though.

Attempt #3. Messed up the placement of the back tire and what is going on with the chin of that little female elk up front…?

Funny Face

Oh, they actually have white chins! I looked for more image reference online to figure out what was going on. A big thank you to photographers Robert Harding and"@bingtravelbunny."

Finally, a drawing I’m less embarrassed about! Full disclosure, I covered up that mistake over the back tire with white paint and re-did the pen work.

Salt Lick

Here’s the story behind the event I am attempting to draw from January 3, 2011.

One Sunday, very early in the morning before the sunrise, Jeff called me very softly out of our nice warm bed. “Hey, you have to see this, elk are cleaning my truck…”
 
Puzzled, I got out of bed and made my way as quietly as I could over to the large east facing window to look, and sure enough, a small herd of elk had surrounded Jeff’s green Toyota Tacoma truck. The metal was coated with salt from the winter roads and these animals were solemnly licking it all over. In our fifteen years living there, we had never seen the elk do that before!

They must have felt they were in luck to find a tasty treat like that just waiting for them. We don’t know if road salt was safe for them to eat, but they were certainly enjoying themselves, even pushing each other a little, greedy to get to the un-licked spots.

Eventually they were done cleaning off the truck and started to notice us staring at them, that was their cue to disperse. They casually continued up the mountain side, nosing around for munch-able plants under the snow as they went. We watched as one by one the whole herd quietly vanished in between the trees. Another memorable moment that made our difficulties of living off-grid in the woods worth all the effort.

Just in case you were wondering, the door handles of the truck were not appealing to the touch when we went out to get in it later. Ick!

What do you think?

Here’s some of my original photos, they aren’t great because there was low light and my camera had a hard time focusing through the window. Do you prefer the drawing or the photos?

Cleaning Crew

The Elk Notice Us

Anyone else have a creative insecurity they are hiding? What are you doing to address it?

Happy Creating!

>^-^<
Tina
 
Here's a link to a list of Chris Wilson’s favorite books about drawing and sketching: https://chriswilsonstudio.com/sketching-books/

Flipping Failure on it's Head

 

Well, I’ve had two months working on the 15 min. daily habit of creating. I started out pretty great, but after several weeks of success, I began to struggle a bit until suddenly I found myself in a complete crash and burn, i.e., me cheating on my creative time with a bowl of popcorn and a classic old movie on YouTube! Sigh.

 

Looking for some insight, I searched my "helpful suggestions" file and found a blog post from 2015 that I had saved from Zen Habits which gave me the exact shift in perception I needed.

 

Basically, Leo Babauta who writes Zen Habits suggests that failure is great when we start new habits because every time we experience it, we actually have real information on how to do better the next time. The good news is that the more times we fail, the more information we have to improve! How's that for flipping failure on it's head?

 

The key thing is to actually take a moment and try to figure out what is causing your failure. Make an adjustment and try again, and again, and...you get the picture. Just keep failing and fine-tuning until you create the solution that suits you. This outlook certainly takes the sting out of FAILURE for me and that is already a huge help!

 

Looking at my own experience, I can see where my habit needs some fine tuning.  For example, I recognize that for my habit to be successful, I need to adjust to spending more of my daily 15 min. in relaxing creative play rather than always trying to create or complete something. I think I will do better with a little less pressure. All I can do is adjust and try again...

 

I do think focusing on making this 15 min. daily habit has had some success too, in that it has moved creating to the top of my priority list for each day. I do get more done on my days off when I can spend a couple hours on a project, because I have moved those ideas forward in little steps the rest of the week.

 

Here's the link to Zen Habits original great article:

Fail Faster at Habits

 

& here's to learning how to flip failure on it's head!

 

>^-^<

 

Tina

Got Worry?

"Be Here Now" 5:7 digital art ©2016 

Last November, we had only been back in the USA for a month. We were staying with friends in New Mexico, we knew we were going to visit Jeff’s parents for Christmas in Oregon and then stopping to see my Uncle in California, but we had no job, no home, and no certain plans beyond that. It was so hard not to let my mind just go crazy with worry!

After two months of feeling just awful and recognizing that I really wasn't changing anything, I made a resolution to try to do something to address my worry. The first step I came up with was to focus on what my situation was that day, and what could I do to make that day really good. This one shift of mindset did help relieve some of my distress.

In January, when we were staying with one of my nieces in Arizona, I noticed a book in their spare room/office called “Stop Worrying and Start Living” by Dale Carnegie.  Curious, I picked it up and read sections here and there. I told Jeff  “I think I need this book!” It was easy to find a copy on-line and it didn’t take long to read. Like Mr. Carnegie says, the information isn’t really new, but being committed to putting the concepts into practice and being willing to change are the key part of addressing the problem of worry.

It was a real boost for me to find more suggestions and examples on how to stop the worry habit.  I thought I would share some of may favorite helpful insights that I learned.

Dale Carnegie’s five questions:

1. Do I often to put off living in the present in order to worry about the future, or to yearn for some “magical rose garden over the horizon?"
2. Do I sometimes embitter the present by regretting things that happened in the past?
3. Do I get up in the morning determined to “seize the day” to get the utmost out of these twenty-four hours?"
4. Can I get more out of life by “living in day-tight (24 hour) compartments?” 
5. When shall I start to do this? Next week? Tomorrow? Today?

 

Willis H. Carrier “A Magic Formula for solving worry situations"

1. Ask yourself, what is the worst that can possibly happen?
2. Prepare to accept it if you have to.
3. Calmly proceed to improve on the worst.

(Aha! An actual useful direction to take when I am awake at night imagining the worst!)
 

Herbert E. Hawkes, former Dean of Columbia College, Columbia University.

“Confusion is the chief cause of worry”…”Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision." 
 

I hadn't thought of it that way, that not getting all the facts could add to my worry.
 

Three basic steps of problem analysis:

1. Get the facts.
2. Analyze the facts.
3. Arrive at a decision and then act on that decision.

I like that Mr. Hawkes added to this that you are not allowed to wallow in regret if your well thought-out choice still doesn't work out how you wanted. Disappointment in how our 4 year plan to improve our work/living situation was unfolding was one of the thoughts that was really causing me pain. I needed that reassurance that it wasn't necessary to shame yourself when you have done your best to make a good choice. We all learn through imperfect choices.
 

We often get stuck when we only pay attention to the facts that justify our desires.

“Everything that is in agreement with our personal desires seems true. Everything that is not puts us into a rage.”  Andre Maruois 

Boy, isn't that the truth, and this mind-set can get us stuck in more aspects of life than worrying too much!

The rest of the story...

In March, Jeff was offered a job with the Forest Service for the summer! We finally had a place to go and a way to earn money and I found a part-time job too!  There have been some difficulties, but all in all, life’s been good! 

October is looming ahead of us though, and the uncomfortable worry thoughts are stirring again. Through thinking about why I do what I do, I've concluded that my worst worry inducing habit is predicting the future. I have proof that my predictions are often not accurate. For example, last winter when I thought we had few options to hope for, places for us to stay and help that I  never imagined as possible appeared one by one, like stepping stones, through the kindness of family and friends.

Reminder: I am not a fortune teller!  

I also resist letting go of the good I have today for fear I will never have it again. Somehow I have a belief that there is a limited supply of good for me. I have already experienced that this isn't true by living in so many places, and in so many different situations, and they all have had something worthwhile for me to enjoy. 

Reminder: Focusing on "not enough" is stressful and often not true.

Even with these thoughts in mind, I absolutely needed to review what I learned this winter and it helps me to put my thoughts into words to share.  I hope it will help some of you too, my kind readers. 

One last favorite quote: 

“Our main business is not to see what lies dimly ahead, but to do what lies clearly at hand” Thomas Carlyle  1871

I am not perfect at eliminating this worry habit yet, but I am certainly more aware of what I can do to worry less and live more. Sometimes something as simple as just walking around the block several times can help lift the worry vise off my mind!

>^-^<  

Tina 

p.s. Copies of the artwork "Be Here Now" that was inspired by my Worry-Less Resolution this year are available at Fine Art America. Click here to visit my FAA page

The Upside of Down

"The Upside of Down" 5"x 7" oil on gessobord, ©2014

Today I want to share with you my scariest goal ever.  Boy, I hope I don't regret this.

I had an experience that really spoke to my heart when I was about nine.  I was a big fan of Karen Carpenter and loved to hear her music on the radio.  I was alone in the kitchen one summer evening listening to "On Top of the World" (1973) it made me so happy, I just had to go outside and sing. I used to make up songs all the time when I was a kid and I decided right then that the best thing in the world I could ever do was to sing my songs on the radio and make people feel happy.

I never completely forgot this dream, but as I got older I could see it wasn't that simple to do.  Add to that being super shy and doubting my ability, I didn't tell anyone what I wanted.  I would make up songs on the piano, but I didn't know how to write them down properly.   I was taking piano lessons, but not composition. I didn't really believe that I could learn to do such a thing. 

I mentioned in a recent post that both my parents passed away within a year of each other, my Dad in 2012 and my Mom in 2013. They weren't just my parents, I felt they were two of my dearest friends. They were people I felt really safe with and whom I knew would always love me.  I dreaded the day they would die. When that day finally came, it was just as bad as I imagined it. Worse.  I didn't know the emotional pain would be so intense and last so long.  I didn't know I would wake up in the middle of the night for months with that pain of missing them. 

Experiencing Grief is hard for anyone and it has been a long process for me. I discovered that when I was having a really hard time, writing music seemed to help, either take me out of the pain or help me process by clarifying what I was feeling into words. 
 
Last year, January 2014, I made a promise to myself, I was going to complete those songs for each stage of grief I had experienced and dedicate the album to my parents.  It was a huge goal.  I had just finished two on-line courses, one on song lyric writing and the other on how to use a DAW (digital audio workstation) to record and mix music. Years later, technology was finally made up for my limitations in music making!

The question is, should I ever share this album?  

I went round and round in my mind about this decision, and I found three reasons to share.

1-I want to show that I am not just telling people to face their inner 'fraidy cat, that I am actually willing to do it myself. I have improved on facing the fear of sharing my artwork, but sharing my music terrifies me to the core. I feel like I am such a beginner and I know I am so far from knowing what I am doing. Since it is such a personal project, being open to possible criticism feels extra risky!

2-Reading about other people's experiences with grief on the facebook page "Second Chances" has been helpful to me, so I thought perhaps I could do the same for other people in my own way.

3-I have also discovered that as I am beginning to feel better, it is easy to run out of steam on a big project like this and by telling other people, it helps me be more accountable to finish it.

It's been a year since I set my goal and how am I doing?   I have completed the painting for the the album cover and I have the title, "The Upside of Down." I have about three songs close to being finished, three more roughed out and number seven, the last step, isn't written at all.  I'm not sure I've really experienced that step long enough yet so that I can write about it.

If there is interest, I will commit to sharing the songs as I complete them with those who have subscribed to my "Confessions of a 'Fraidy Cat newsletter.  Baby steps, right?  Let me know if you are interested in hearing them by signing up, or by commenting here or on facebook.

Facing the fear...
>^-^<  Tina  
  

All About Babe

"Babe" 8"x 6" watercolor  ©2014 Tina M Welter

Babe is a beautiful 7 year old Great Pyrenees who belongs to my friend Carol in Kentucky.  Carol is also an artist and when I shared with her my painting of Kirk (click to see Kirk), she asked about a commission for her dog, Babe, whom Carol says is the "best dog she has ever had." 

I started to feel my inner 'Fraidy Cat start getting nervous & fluffing up her fur.  I was fairly confident about painting Kirk because I was able to take the photographs myself, could I paint a good portrait from someone else's photos?  Could we communicate well enough through e-mail if I needed to make adjustments?  What about packing and shipping original art from New Zealand to Kentucky?  How to get paid? Plus, white fur!  When painting white, it means you use a lot of colors to give the illusion of white, it is tricky.

Babe, "the best dog she ever had" © Carol Bowles

Here is the original photo from Carol's phone that she sent me.  This was her favorite photo of Babe.  It was quite small and I wondered if I would be able to work from it. 

What helped me calm my 'Fraidy cat the most was how much I wanted to do this painting.  A strong desire plus dealing with one anxiety at a time.  It feels like such an honor to be asked to paint a beloved pet.  I know it is a painting that will be loved and enjoyed, and that means a lot to me. 

Facing the anxiety:  I could lighten and enlarge the photo using the preview tools on my Mac computer.  Using the larger photo, did sketches to move Babe's favorite toy forward.   Looked up postal shipping rates online. Found Saachi art had a great tutorial on how to pack paintings to ship.  Did palette and small watercolor sketch tests to figure out the colors.  E-mailed a photo of the completed painting to Carol.  Carol wanted a small adjustment to the eyes, and I was able to do that too.  I was a bit anxious waiting the three weeks it took to arrive in Kentucky, but it did make it just fine. Paypal took care of the payment.  Success!

The lesson I am trying to remember when my anxiety fur gets raised is this:

Just because I haven't done it before, doesn't mean it can't be done! 
#creativeanxiety 
(click icon to tweet)


This seems simple, but for some reason I often forget this lesson, even after I have been successful.   I don't know, but I hope writing about and sharing it will help me to lock it in.

Happy fear-less creating.

 >^-^< Tina

P.S. Would you like to read my 'Fraidy cat newsletter from last week, "Getting on the Airplane", which was only sent to my subscribers? Then subscribe to the newsletter on the right and I will e-mail you last weeks news letter...

"Fraidy Cat Gets on the Airplane" 2.5"x 3.5" graphite on paper

Here's an excerpt:
Getting on the Airplane

Now this is something that is probably going to sound so goofy to some people.  Remember,one man's fear is another man's idea of fun. ;0

Many, many years ago, the year 2000 I think, Jeff decided he wanted to take a trip to the Big Island of Hawaii.  Great, I had actually been interested in seeing Hawaii myself, but there was just one problem, I was terrified of getting in a airplane.  Not the flying part so much, I believed all those statistics that said flying was more safe than driving on the freeway in your car.  It was the claustrophobia of getting on the airplane with all those people, the lack of control.  Just the thought of it would send my heart racing.

Jeff being Jeff, he was determined to go.  I could choose to go or not to go as I wished, but he was going.  What was I going to do?....