Changing The Patterns

"Waiting"

One of my favorite beliefs in creating great art is that you have to be inspired by a great vision and you also need large blocks of uninterrupted time. It also helps if you are living on the edge emotionally, physically and mentally. I always felt I was too sane to really do anything good and besides, who has the time when you have a regular job and a house to build? I did get a few things done occasionally. Mostly when I wanted to give a painting as a gift or make a great Christmas card. The result was that I only produced a few finished paintings a year.

"Opening"

 Enter Mr. Eric Maisel with the belief busting idea that you must "make art in the midst of things." Even with bills to pay, you must show up regularly and work on your dream just like a regular job. Having a vision is good, but you have to work every day whether you are inspired or not. Actually not having your life in complete chaos is a good thing and don't expect everything you do to be brilliant. It's o.k. to create less than great art as long as you are consistent: eventually something will shine. It's just the law of averages. I liked that Maisel compared this idea to a fruit tree and how not all the fruit on the tree is going to be perfect.  
For someone obsessed with perfection, this was like getting a "get out of jail free" card.

"Closing"

Obviously my first pattern I had to change was doing something regularly. I decided I could manage an hour or two on Sundays and that I was going to finish a project I had started at least five years ago. It was a series based on the cycle of creativity from Jeanne Carbonetti's book called "Making Pearls" The challenge of this for me was doing something that was strictly for my enjoyment. I know this may sound very odd to some people, but I have had another deeply held belief that nothing was worth doing unless it pleased someone else. I also wanted to address and change this pattern.

"Holding"

 I decided to do this mid-winter and my little studio is heated with a wood stove and separate from the main house. It was tempting to make excuses and I was surprised at the anxiety that going to work on something when I didn't have a clear idea what it was going to be gave me.  The paintings were supposed to express concepts, not an actual thing. Eventually with time, I realized how much I was enjoying myself and looked forward to those creative evenings. I did finally realize it was doing something worthwhile for me. I felt better about myself.

"Releasing"

Sometimes I had to battle the guilt of "not doing something worthwhile." With some deliberation, I've decided to post my seven "pearls" from the creativity series. They are so personal, yet I feel they are such an important step in this process I am trying to document.


 Jeff's Corner: Most of my change is in the ashtray of my truck.

Tina's Rebuttal: That is so bogus! He is all about change!

"Emptying"

 

"Sitting"